Marie

Another overstuffed, bloated Thanksgiving has come and gone. *sigh* We had kosher everything and it came out lovely.

There is a Conservative shul in south Orange County that is building a mikvah. It will be a kosher mikvah, just like the one at the Univ. of Judaism up on Mulholland (even though the Orthodox refuse to admit it's kosher because they....gasp....let women who have married non Jews use it). They are more Conservadox, you could say. Anyway, it's a good thing because many of the mikvot around here are run by Chabad and they have done a bang up job of ensuring that no non-Chabadniks or less than the frumiest of the frum will use it. Yeah, because that's a good idea. Maybe they hope to muscle bad women who have married non-Jews into breaking up their families. Because that will really help want to make them more observant. At least the Conservative shul isn't pretending these women don't exist.

My unemployment was denied....because I am in school and am not totally available all the time for work. I wrote a nasty note on the appeal form asking them if I should drop out of school so that I can get a 50 hour a week job at McD's and maybe more up to head fryer in 10 years. I'd like to point out that while in school I did work full time. It is possible. Jerks.

Anyway, I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving!!

When we were in Israel, I had bought this really pretty scarf for no other reason than "It's really pretty". Alex said, "So you gonna wear that after we are married?" and I jokingly said yes and put it on. I didn't tie under my chin Eastern Euro old grandmother style, but instead back behind my hair. He looked at me for a few seconds and said, "You look hot. I am picturing taking the scarf off of you. Which doesn't make sense because I thought you are supposed to cover your hair because hair is so sexual, but taking things off of people is far more sexy and one more thing to take off just ups the anticipation.". He had an interesting point.

We talked more about it and I am really torn on the hair covering thing. I like my hair. No, I love my hair. I spend lots of time and money on my hair. And it's not to attract anyone, because I already have someone. It's for me. Alex pointed that out too. He likes it when I straighten my hair and when it's a deep aurburn with strawberry highlights, I like it better when I crunch it curly and it's dark brown with blonde highlights. I do my hair the way I like it. So I am supposed to ignore something really important to me on the off chance some guy is going to get horny and have impure thoughts because of my hair? Isn't that his problem?

And nevermind hair. Women wear makeup. Cosmetics can be very sexy and alluring. Especially lips and lipstick. Why don't married women have to stop wearing makeup? Aren't the rabbis worried a horny Orthodox guy might gaze upon some luscious, pouty, glazed-with-a-nice-color lips and have an impure thought about sliding something between them?

So basically I guess the Orthodox viewpoint is, "Screw you and what makes you happy. Misery for you because we think all men are animals who cannot control themselves".

Yeah, this isn't going to work out.

That's marlowe1. Have a great day! Or at least an ok-ish day....

Oh shit. I think I am having a gall bladder attack. Pain - dull, nagging, sometimes hurts really bad when I take a deep breath in - about 2-3 inches below my rib cage on the right side.

Fuck. I don't have insurance.

Alex took his job back tonight at DSN. I negotiated quite a deal for him that was agreeable to both he and Art. Art apologized to me for our last blowout. Alex forgave Art for the crap he said. So that was good. And now we'll have more money for our trip in November to Israel, which rocks.

And that was the good part of today. Otherwise it sucked. My car is dying (it's a 1986 Volvo) but we cannot afford a new one right now so we have to let it nickle and dime us. I'm overdrawn $145 because I forgot about that Bally's takes out their money on the 26th and my automatic credit card payment comes out on the 25th. Yeah. So that's not good.

I'm so tired of being tired. I am sleeping way too deeply lately, but not restfully. Does that make sense? I do not hear my alarm or the alarm on my phone even after 8 hours of sleep. Alex usually has to shout at me to get up. Even though I am getting 8 hours, I still feel like crap all day and just want to go back to sleep. So that's not good either.

Ok, enough of all this. I hope someone on my Flist is having a better life.

Damnit.

Rosh Hashanah starts at sundown. Big ole yummy dinner at the shul tonight.

And I wake up with STOMACH FLU. Yay.

Make the world stop.....

(CNN) -- As part of its coverage of the fifth anniversary of 9/11, CNN Pipeline will stream CNN's television coverage of September 11, 2001, in real time, as the events of the day unfolded.

The free replay on Monday will begin at 8:30 a.m. ET, minutes before the first plane hit the World Trade Center in New York.


Go to Cnn.com and ollow the link, halfway down on the left side left of the page. Or, CNN Pipeline

Got the Zoloft (at last) and am starting it today, which is also the first day of classes. Am hoping just having it will help (sort of like a charm) because I know it'll take a couple of weeks to get into my system.

I can't spend another semester like the last with non-stop panic attacks and all the fun that they bring.

So, here goes nothing........

I need the money (paltry amount that it is) right now and I need to save for our trip to Israel in November (I need lots of spending money). I am going to ask for a raise though because I shoulder far more of the workload than the other 2 morons that are supposed to be helping. My boss and I discussed my work schedule and the time I'll need off. He was actually being pleasant.

Oh, and I bought my books today. Drum roll please.........$439 for 21 books. And I still have 7 more to buy when they come in.

I have no idea how I will manage them all this semester. In the next week I have to get to a doctor and get some Zoloft or something because I know the panic attacks will come hard and often this semester.

Yay for panic.

Yeah, I have one, and I check it sometimes, but I don't know why.

Most of my friends use it to communicate as in, "I left you a message about brunch on your myspace. Why didn't you call?".

Well, if you can call me to tell me that you are bothered that I didn't respond about a brunch myspace message, why couldn't you just call and ask me in the first place??!?!?! I have a cell and a home phone, email, and a fax machine. Plenty of ways to get my attention, which people use when they fail to on myspace, btw, so don't try to do it through myspace first!

*shoots myspace*